Thursday, December 07, 2006

What's the BBC?

Hello loyal readers, I'm back!

First, a note to my regulars:

Sorry I have been gone for so long, my mother was right, I was using myspace instead of "imparting liberal wisdom". Thank you for enjoying my blog enough to bug me to bring it back, makes me feel special.

A note about grad school apps:

I found out they are not due until Jan. 8th. I am currently working on my statement of purpose. But I did a lot of writing at the laundromat last night, and I will be at work for like 4.5 more hours because my downtown engagement does not start until 8 pm and I am too lazy to go home and come back. So, I will do more work then. Claire, I am applying to UCLA, it is the only place I want to go...will you be able to deal with me being so close?

Now, onto the post...I'll restate the title incase you forgot: "What's the BBC?"

The past two Falls have taught me that flag football season is my busy season- it is pretty much the only time of year when I get any action, and I usually get my fill for the rest of the year (the "dry season").

I was just starting to make "A map of my life" part Duex and actually post it on here because unlike last year this one only involves kissing- no sex, and kissing is innocent and can't hurt feelings, right? I thought better, so again, if you want to see it, ask in a comment and I'll send it to ya, err, maybe I'll put a blog e-mail over in that side panel thing, if I can figure that out I'll do it.

So this "season" I made-out with no less than four women. Of those four women, three were actually interested in me, and of the four I was/am actually interested in two. To me this is a lot of people, to the cast of Sex and the City it is probably a small enough number to cause panic, but I am not in my thirties yet (I'm not sure if that actually meant anything).

More general stats about the four women:
  • I did more than making out with one of them
  • One of them slept in my bed....twice
  • I went to three of thier apartments
  • I made out with two of them in bathrooms...one of them involved multiple kisses and being locked in a stall
  • I went on one full-on date, which involved me answering my door in a towel (maybe I'll explain that later), being driven to the restaurant, and letting her pay for the meal
  • Two of them played in the Boston Women's Flag Football League
  • Three of them were my age (graduated college in 2004 or at least should have graduated in oh-four, but took an extra year)
  • One is turning thirty next saturday
  • I communicated with all of them via text message
  • So far I have hung out in a datish sort of way four times with three of them

Haha, that last bullet was hard to word, and seriously it is because the lesbian dating scene is really odd, especially when it involves people around my age, I'm twenty-four in case you didn't know. I have been out on actual dates with two women in the past year, one was twenty-six (I think) and one is thirty. So what about the three women around my age? How do you define what I did with them? Well, one of them I just hooked up with, plain and simple...actually, not that simple, I may explain that more fully in a bit. The other two? Well...we "hung out"/ are "hanging out". I'm serious, that is the term everyone throws around. I used this term when trying to describe my love life to Cameron (my ex) and she made fun of me. But really, there is no other way to define it.

Hanging out:

We're not dating because we're not going out on actual dates, not really. We just text each other, and request each other on myspace and send flirty messages and e-mails back and fourth and then every now and then we get a chance to "hang out". Hanging out includes but is not limited to: meeting at a bar to watch a sporting event, meeting at an apartment to watch a sporting event or movie, meeting up at a club, attending a party together, meeting up with friends for a drink, making out in bathrooms and cars.

Rules to keep in mind while hanging out:

It's not really serious, so don't get your hopes up and try not to let her get her hopes up. It is safe to assume that the person you are hanging out with is also hanging out with other people, I mean, hey, you are too, right? Text messaging is a lot like IMing used to be, it's just the way people who are hanging out should communitcate and just because a person text messages you a lot does not mean that she is very interested. If you become uninterested in someone or if someone becomes uninterested in you, all you/ they have to do is sloooow down the texting. You pretty much stop texting them altogether and when they text you, you just send short responses that elicit no return response from them. I'm currently texting and semi-hanging out with girl number four of the season and I think I have figured out the game now. You just have to stay mellow, not too interested but not uninterested, just somewhere in-between, go with the flow.

The hard part of it all is what comes after one of you realizes that you're not really interested. Along the way with all of this "hanging out" you have probably gotten to really like them (whether or not that's in a romantic way) and thier friends. How do you get to a place where you can establish that it is cool that you're not "hanging out" anymore, but that you'd still like to be in thier life, as a friend, because you enjoy spending time with them and thier friends? It must be possible to do that without actually saying it and thus making things awkward. I'm still trying to figure this out with pretty much all of the girls, except for the one I actually hooked up with, I think she may be avoiding me altogether, which I have decided is another story for another day.

So what does the title have to do with anything? What's that you say? You've been reading for a long time now and still don't see what any of this has to do with the BBC? It's a story, a related story. It goes a little something like this:

Text from Girl Number Three: Hey, what are you up to tonight?

Response from Me: Not sure, I've been invited to do a couple of things, I'm still trying to decide which I'm going to. What are you up to? (note that the responder is making an effort to show that she is unavailable for "hanging out" this evening and is making no effort to include the texter in her evening plans)

TG#3: It's my mom's birthday so I am spending time with her, then I think I just want to relax and stay in and watch a movie.

RM: Cool. Oh hey, I found another good lesbian movie, Tipping the Velvet, well it's actually a BBC miniseries but it is rentable, you should check it out. (note again that the responder has not accepted the bait offered by the texter and has made no indication that she may like to ditch her plans in order to join the texter in these new plans)

TG#3: Do you want to watch a movie with me? (Responder's jaw drops when recieving this message. How could she have not picked up on the very well put hints that I would NOT be interested in joining her tonight?)

RM: (I did not have time to respond before the next text came through)

TG#3: What's BBC? (This text plays over and over in the responder's mind. Each time she utters the phrase with more and more wonder and amazement at the question...she fully realizes this makes her a snob)

RM: No, sorry, I already have too many plans tonight. British Broadcasting Coorporation. (note that the responder was careful not to add in, but I'm available....or we should do it some other time....or even maybe some other time.)

TG#3: Ok. (at this point the responder's notes that the texter made no mention of having already known what BBC meant).

.End scene.

My friends and I discussed this, and it was decided there are just some lines, some things, that you  cannot accept unless you are very interested and invested. Not having any knowledge what-so-ever of the BBC, that is just one of my lines. So now it is a catch phrase to be added to "making copies" (making out), and "the drain is clogged" (that guy (person) is hot). Here is how is works:

"Eh, I don't know if it's gonna work out. 'She asked what the BBC was.'" (of course the listener will know that she didn't actually ask what the BBC was but that she revield that she is unaware of or uninterested in something that is vitally important to you, or that you simply expect someone who you would be interested in to be knowledgable of).

It works the other way too, this is an actual quote (I haven't gotten a chance to use it in the above way yet, but you better believe I will as soon as I get a chance):

"Yeah, I'm not sure what happened. We hung out the other night, I thought it was fine, nothing wonderful, but not bad either. But, she has slowed down a lot on the texting and e-mailing. I think 'I must have asked what the BBC was'. I don't know when or how I asked it, but I must have."

That was a really long post! Am I forgiven?

4 comments:

Claire said...

UCLA???? Jesus Christ, I'm so excited I think I just peed a little! Catch the "Friends" reference? Anyways, that's frickin awesome and I hope you'll come down to LB to go to gay bars with me!! I even know a few hot lesbians! Oh Mel, I would be so stoked to have you nearby! Ha ha, Bekka and Allison, ha ha ha, Claudia and everyone else! She's mine now!!!

OasisDwlr said...

A highly entertaining post, well done. And you even referenced "The drain is clogged"!!!!! Awesome! Leilani, remember that? How could you not?! Oh, those were the days in HS biology class....

melanerd said...

Aw, thanks guys, you make a girl feel sooo loved!

Claire you're so cute. I'm really excited too! I hope I get in, but right now I'm planning to move home either way. Did I tell you that Scott is at UCLA?

You better believe I'll be going to gay clubs and meeting your hot lesbian friends, just try to stop me!

OasisDwlr said...

Dude. You know what I just thought of? You can even rank the uncompatibility of people by saying, "Eh, BBC 1," "Maybe only a BBC 2," and then if they are really off the map, they can be a BBC Radio. Because as you know, the British are so clever as so name all their multimedia endeavors as BBC___ (fill in the blank here).