Oh There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays!

I SENT IN MY APPLICATION!!!

I am done and freeeeeee! Hopefully I will get in, I'll let you know.

Now, I know that everyone wants to know what it is like to be a nanny, and I will tell you, but not today. What I will say is that it affords me lots of free time, which I will be using to update my blog.

But, right now, I'm going to write a post of been thinking of for a while now: Christmas in So Cal.


I consider myself a seasoned traveller, a veterane if you will. I've had it all happen to me: plane turned around because something wasn't working, been put up in a hotel two or three times (who can keep track?), almost missed countless flights, waited outside in the rain for a bus from Newark- if it sucks and it involves public transportation it has probably happened to me. This is because hillarious mishaps follow me (the reason I started a blog) and since I have been bi-costal for going on seven years now- I fly A LOT.

Knowing all of this I approach flying and travelling in general in a very casual way. I know how long it will take me to pack, how to pack, what to pack, how to keep my bag from weighing too much and how early to leave for the airport. I'm usually that girl who is settled into her prime terminal seat, reading her book and laughing to herself.

Not this time!

I flew out of T.F. Green, which is in Providence RI, at like 7 in the morning or something ungodly like that. This would have involved getting out the door of my apartment before 4 am. Thankfully I have two beautiful friends who live quite close to Providence and they let me crash at thier place.

At 6 in the morning I got into my freezing cold car and started it, I was careful to let it warm up for a while because it had died on me the night before. Everything seemed fine so I put the car in drive and rolled out...about 5 inches. MY CAR DIED! I HAD to be at the airport in twenty minutes and my car was dead. I texted Mia: Do you know how to jump a car? Her response was to throw on some clothes and drive my idiotic ass to the airport. How awesome is she??? And she was totally nice about it, and thanked me for giving her an opportunity to see the sun rise. Mia is seriously an awesome awesome lady!

But my adventure wasn't quite over. I was still too late for a holiday flight. So I did what my experience has taught me to do. I got in the curbside check line. I paid close attention to the time and when it was 35 minutes before my flight and I was still halfway back in the line, I asked to people behind me to watch my bags and went up the one of the guys. I explained my predicament and he asked if I was a good tipper. "Of course", I replied. He motioned for me to come closer, lowered his voice and said, "Get your bags and meet me in the hallway". He checked my bags on the DL and I gave him 5 bucks.

Success! I made my flight and even got a window seat. Nice

This will be continued later. I need to go pick up Alison from school now.

Drinks after work = Hiding under table?

So, now that this has been alluded to in a blog comment, I suppose I need to keep up my promise to tell this gem of a tale on my blog.

Last Thursday, I was trying to round up a group of friends to be pretend to be socially minded by paying the Jimmy Fund $7 to get ice cream belly aches at the Scooper Bowl. But, due to the unseasonably cold and rainy weather we decided to go out for drinks instead.

My friend Mike met Claudia and me outside of our work and we all walked over to the Beantown Pub. Now, I've been working a 9 to 5 for a while now, so clearly going out for drinks after work is not new fare for me. Claud and I have gone for drinks, Mike and I have gone for drinks, heck, Mike and I had even gone out to Beantown Pub before.

But there was one key difference between those outings and this one. At those outings, dinner had clearly been written into the plans from the get go- the drinks may have been ordered first, but that is only due to the length of time it takes to deliberate between a ruben and a hamburger. This time, there was no mention of food, and since food was never mentioned I merely rationalized out that we were only planning on having a couple of beers and then we would head home and cook an economical non-pub dinner. I later found out that Claudia rationalized out the same plan.

The night started out with a bang. There was talk of recent events: Mike would have been fine with Condi Rice speaking at BC at any time other than commencement; there were jokes about who owned which beautiful sports car that was parked outside; and once Gary arrived there was even talk of match making: Claud has a friend- maybe Gary's interested?

Then the first beer came and went. Claud finished before me and tried to put up a protest that with no food a second beer was not a good idea- she was quickly convinced otherwise. When I finished my beer I knew, and desired, better than to put up a fight.

Then the second beer was finished. Now, if you return to the original thought out plans- two beers was the limit and then home for dinner. But once that second beer had been consumed with no food in our bellies, Claudia and I forgot all about our plans. A third beer was ordered and then a fourth.

Nine pm rolls around and suddenly the conversation turned to relationships. Melanie (who to make matter worse was about to start her period) let the emotional flood gates open. While Gary and Claudia were involved in their own conversation (and busily drinking my fifth beer as to keep me from drinking it), I was talking to Mike about my past failed relationships and current single status. Unfortunately, I was also unable to stop crying and crying and crying.

With the night turned sour Mike decided it was time to head home. But by this time I decided I was unable to function and that the best option in sight was to sit underneath the table! Mike, sober enough to realize this was not the best option, helped me out from under the table and out of the pub. At this point I made the transition from overly emotional Melanie to paranoid Melanie (for those of you who were around during the summer I graduated from high school you remember both of these Melanie's very well). I suddenly decided that Mike was making fun of me, which he clearly had a right to, but I was not going to be made fun of, so I told him not to touch me and I ran away. (This is a move that I pulled frequently in that fateful summer of 2000, but I have no recollection of it happening since then). As I ran I could hear Mike in hot pursuit of me- I could not allow him to catch me, so I ran faster and faster and faster. And as I ran I had the logical thought that if I were ever to be attacked while drunk I would clearly be okay because I have an amazing capacity to sprint while heavily intoxicated.

I ran myself right into the T station and right onto a train. After riding for a couple of stops I actually processed what the speaker was saying: "Haymarket". You guessed it folks- I had already gone two stops in the wrong direction. So I got off and somehow managed to get on the train going the right way- this is when the moaning started. Yes, I was that drunk alone person moaning on the train. So, after a couple of stops I realized that people on the train were staring and laughing at me (and we all know I wasn't in the mood for being made fun of). Then another logical thought hit me- "they must think I'm homeless- why else would I be drunk and on the T by myself?" So, to keep myself from being further made fun of, and to dispel any rumors that I was homeless, I got off the T and promptly threw up in the station.

That's when I actually made a good decision. I left the station and I called one of the people who has been there for me in other crisis situations: Bekka. I slurred a story about losing Claudia and not having keys and asked if I could walk (their apartment was very close) to thier place and sleep there.  Bekka and Allison welcomed me with open arms, and from what I was told the next morning, I entertained them for about half an hour with my stories of being homeless, my desire to have a serious conversation about Condi Rice, my unusually dry humor and my endless struggle to get the sheets covering me (it apparently involved a lot of flopping and frustrated grunts).

Moral of the story: never assume you can start drinking with no intention of ordering food! There are other morals here but I don't feel like writing them out...

Me and Mike on the crazy night in question. You bet your butt drunk pictures were taken and some how I made it through the night with out losing my camera.

New Years Resolutions

1. Donate unnecessary clothing (seeing as I have four laundry bags FULL of clothes and no room in my closet or drawers...something must be done)
2. Correspond with 1 distant/ out of touch friend/family per week.
3. Get a gym membership and start working out (I am seriously lacking in the muscle department!)
4. Stop dating/having sex with women who are actually in love with/interested in other women (step one: take a very long and total break from Cameron and Anastasia- CHECK)

So those are pretty much my resolutions...I have some other things I am doing like- budgeting my money(start saving), trying to be more healthy, only consuming my fair share of resources (Check out "More with Less: a Mennonite Cookbook- it's great), using more products that are chemical free/ green...etc, etc.

The New Year's Eve party I went to was pretty mellow...which is exactly what I needed. We went around and shared our resolutions at midnight...here are the others I remember:

• Put money into 401K (Bekka)
• Get a puppy (Suzy)
• Stop smoking and start dating (Bethie)
• Start working out (Belding)...okay I stole that one
• Respond to e-mails within one week (Sarah Hayes)

eh...there were more but that is all I remember right now....I just appreciate that Bekka's is so grown-up and Suzy's really isn't what I typically think of when I think of resolutions....

A Happy Birthday message to Hungary

Join me in wishing Maria (Master) Bates a very very happy 24th birthday. Yes, ladies and gentlemen she has hit her mid-twenties!

Bates is one of my best friends from college. Here is a list of some of the reasons I love Bates:

1. She is always willing to share her bed
2. If you need a friend, she'll be sure to be there
3. She is a very genuine person
4. She is wild and crazy and full of energy
5. She is in med school in Budapest (I miss her, but that is really cool!)
6. Her ass is as hard as a rock!
7. She let's me use her as a job reference (she was my safe ride boss)

Man, that list was terrible....there are so many more reasons that I love Bates, but I can't quite figure out how to put them into words. Anyway, she is wonderful and 24 years old!

I get by with A LOT of help from my friends...

Now you may think that this is the beginning of a John Lennon memorial post, since yesterday was the 25th anniversary of his death, but it is not. Rather, it is a post about me and my amazing friends, who are always willing to come to my rescue.

On Wednesday I left the office and went to CVS to buy some hairspray. The bus I take home is right in fornt of cvs, so I left my wallet (with my new bus pass) in my coat pocket. I soon (like 1 minute) realized that the bus would probably not be coming because the street was all blocked off with emergency vehicles. So I walk toward the T station (subway), and on the way a woman asked me for money. I looked at her and thought, "it is winter, she says she has kids, I have two five dollar bills in my wallet, I should give her one", but I just walked by. As I walked down the stairs to the T station I reached into my pocket to get out my wallet, and to my horror I did not feel it. So I retraced my steps looking very carefully (it was a 1 minute walk). I went back to CVS and asked if I left it there...nope. I checked my purse....nothing.

Enter angel #1:

Bekka
I went back to my office and immediately called Bekka (she was on her way from work to my house to watch America's Next Top Model with me). I told her the situation and we decided to meet at a T station. After much deliberation we decided to get some food to make and head to her house (she lives close to the station). After providing me with warmth, food, entertainment, and warm socks, Bekka gave me money for the T and Bus so I could get home.

I got to Sullivan Station (where I normally catch the bus home) close to 11 pm. I was waiting and waiting and waiting for the bus, freezing my butt off and wondering what time my bus stopped running (I had never attempted to catch it this late and there were no schedules available). There was another bus at the station that had been there when I arrived (this was the second time it had showed up), it said (town) via Broadway. I live off of Broadway, and somehow I decided this bus would take me near home, and I was so confident that I didn't even check with the driver.

And of course, it went the opposite direction (didn't think of THAT possibility, did you Melanie?). I walked up to the driver and asked him for a transfer and to let me off at the next stop. So I got off the bus in the freezing cold and walked to the bus stop on the other side of the street. It wasn't long before I decided that since it was 11:20 pm I had very little chance of catching a bus back to Sullivan and then another bus to my house.

Enter angel #2:
Molly 
I decided since I had no money, my only option was to call a friend with a car, but who to call? I tried my roommate first, but she did not answer. I thought about calling my ex, Cameron, but I didn't think she would answer either. So I called Molly, and sure enough she answered. She told me that she had been drinking, and then I panicked, but she came up with the perfect plan. I flagged down a cab, took it to her apartment, she came out and gave the cabbie $20 and I took the cab home- the whole trip including tip was exactly $20.

I do not know WHAT I would have done without my two angels. Both times I was stranded, with no money, no way to get money, insufficient clothes for the cold weather, and too long of a walk in heels for walking to be an option. I honestly do not know what I could have possibly done with out the help of my friends. It is a scary feeling to be so incapable of helping yourself, but it is so comforting to know that when I am defenseless my friends will always be there to help me.

Morals of the story:

Always be there for your friends
Leave an emergency cash stash in your office
Leave an emergency cash stash at your house
Follow your strong instincts (if I had tried to give money to that woman I would have notice my wallet was missing sooner). Unless your instincts have to do with buses, because as my friend Anastasia once said, and in the words of my crazy friend Corrie: "Buses, they do what they WANT".
The winter is cold and lonely, do something to help those in need

Ha..ha..ha..ha..HAPPY BIRTHDAY

This is Priscilla. She is amazing, and adventurous, and crazy, and UBER stylish (clearly), and
today is her 23rd birthday. She has joined the rest of us in our last year before we hit MID twenties! Priscilla posted a comment on my Chaz Tenenbaum...post, so check it out to get a first hand insight as to what she is like.

Here is some information for you:

• When we got our star tattoos Priscilla got one that could fit inside of the rest of ours because her father threatened that he would stop paying her tuition if she ever got a tat.
• Her voice message on her cell is sexy and sultry and she never says her name.
• We have dubbed her the "Samantha" of our group of four. (I know what you're thinking and that's not why, but it would be fine if it was ;))
• She is Romanian
• She lived in Spain during the summer and is going back soon.
• The night after she wore this outfit she wore a shirt that scooped down to her naval and she had to tape it to herself, but not before Adrian, Lindsay's boyfriend, saw her tit!
• She has a thing for barrel chested men.
• She is completely WILD and random, and amazing and I am proud that I can call her my friend!

I Love You P! Hope your birthday is amazing!

Alia my fashion consultant

As promised, this is Alia (the one on the left, the one on the right is Suad). I don't have a picture of Lori which is sad because she has really awsome style.

To quote Linds: "Mel, I'm not really a fan of that picture from Vivid you posted. My neck looks weird. Do I really look like that?! Love Linds"
So I have settled on a third picture...hopefully everyone will be happy with this one, although I think I look kinda funny. Of course I expect I will get an e-mail from Lei soon saying her teeth are too white ;).

Apparently Priscilla likes this photo more than the one I chose: The Ladies in Las Vegas- Leilani (Lei or Lei-on-Me), Me (Mel), Priscilla (P not Pia), and Lindsay (Linds) in club Vivid. See Tuesday's post.

My wonderful cuddling friend Priscilla- in Vegas. See post below

Turning Japanese...or at least 23

So I turned 23 yesterday...everyone keeps asking me how 23 feels...in case you want to ask me the answer is: it feels the same. Today my brother called me and he answered saying sorry. I had no idea why he was sorry and then I realized he hadn't called me on my birthday. I'm not sure when it happened, probably after 21, but birthday's don't really matter that much to me any more.

So here is what I did on my birthday: went to dinner with two of my best friends (Bekka and Maria) and then went over to Bekka's apartment and I watch D.E.B.S with one of my other good friends- Allison. It was perfect because I had watched D.E.B.S twice already but only by myself, I really craved other people to watch it with so I could have someone else confirm how amazing the movie is (note: one of the hard parts about being single is having to search for friends to watch movies with you). BUT just in case you have not seen it yet D.E.B.S is an amazing movie- a lesbian spy spoof complete with "smuck" sound effects while the villain is scaling a wall with suction thingies. A line from the movie as further proof: "I never wanted to be a criminal when I was growing up. I wanted to be a pirate." "Um, pirates are criminals." AMAZING!

Every year my girlfriends from high school, the four remaining in our group, get together and go to Vegas. The trip usually lands on someone's birthday and this year we went from the 9th-11th so it was close to my birthday. Since I am struggling to "make ends meet" my amazing friends chipped in $200 for my $227 plane ticket and my friend Lindsay (with an A don't get it wrong) loaned my $200 and told me that I can wait until I am more financially stable to pay her back. The trip was awesome and I couldn't have done it without Linds...she is amazing! My three girls- Linds, Leilani, and Priscilla kept cuddling with me during the weekend...I am big on cuddling! So The weekend was well worth it just for all the cuddling. Thanks ladies I love you eternally!