Handcrafted holiday gifts....they're fair trade!

Last week I volunteered ("interned") for the Cultural Survival Winter Bazaar. Cultural Survival is a non-profit organization that works to promote the rights, voices and visions of indigenous peoples around the world. They have many bazaars throughout the year two of which are held in Boston and Cambridge around the holiday season. I found out about these bazaars two years ago from my friend Bekka and have done a lot of my holiday shopping there since then. It is a really awesome way to get original holiday gifts while supporting a very worthy cause and you get to chat with interesting people. The only problem is that since they are fair trade the prices are usually out of my reach, and I end up spending way more than I can afford to spend.

This year my roommate let me know that Cultural Survival recruits interns to volunteer at the bazaars and offers them 40% off the merchandise. So on Sunday, December 10th, I boarded a bus at 10:30 am and headed to Hynes Convention center to work from 10:45 to 7 pm and earn my 40% discount. Unfortunately I decided it was a good idea to get very drunk the night before...oops.

I woke up at 5 am asleep on a couch wearing jeans, an underwire bra and a belt. I figured out where I was, my friend Natalie's apartment, took off the bra and belt and fell back asleep. I woke up again at a normal hour and after being poked fun at and ingesting pain killers and water, I took off....Wait, where are my keys? We searched in vain for a while and I was forced to accept that I had left them at the party (why had I even brought them to the party when I wasn't driving?). So my friend Amy drove me to the hosts house (I don't actually know her), I got my keys, and she drove me back to Natalie's apartment. I had not allowed enough time for this excursion, so, I raced to my apartment, threw together a bag of stuff and ran to the bus stop. I got to the Bazaar just in time....

Hmmm....I probably needed to shower, my hair is kinda dirty, I hope it's not smelly....Wait, did I brush my teeth?...oops, at least I didn't throw up last night. Did I put on deodorant?...Oh shit! Oh my God, I totally forgot, Paco peed on my jeans last night!!!

Yup, that's right, I worked for over eight hours with dirty hair, unbrushed teeth, no deodorant, and jeans with Chihuahua pee on them! It's a good thing I was mainly surrounded by hippies.

I performed a few different tasks for the Bazaar. I handed out fliers and kept track of the number of patrons, I assisted people in raffle entry, I held people's shopping bags when they went to the restroom, I checked people's receipts and tallied how they heard about the Bazaar, but surprisingly enough the most enjoyable job was fliering outside.

The flier

When the beautiful woman with the dreadlocks asked me if I would go outside and hand out fliers to the pedestrians I was a little nervous and wanted to explain to her that based on past experience I knew this would not be the best job for me. But I said "okay", and another girl and I headed out to work the streets together.* At first, I was just really there to keep Emily company, we chatted about school and work and Boston and she made her pitch to passers by and we both held our hands out. She told me it was okay that I wasn't saying anything and that it would get easier once I "found my line"- I highly doubted this. But then, something amazing happened, I found my line: "Handcrafted holiday gifts....they're fair trade!"

I did a good job if I say so myself. I was very upbeat and cheery and got a lot of people to take the little flier and I'd like to believe I convinced at least a handful of people to go to the Bazaar. Emily even commented about how I was doing better than her by the end. When Emily suggested we head back I was kind of sad because I was enjoying the work and the company (she was totally interesting, really into consignment clothing and a Second Time Around employee).

Overall, it was a great day. I bought over a hundred dollars in merchandise with a seventy dollar discount. I got to see "Traditional Indian dancing by Hersheta" and I caught some "Traditional Lakota singing and drumming by Tim Swallow, known as Brave Elk- a member of the Teton Lakota band of Crazy Horse". I did good work, I met and talked with interesting and kind people and I even led around a seeing impaired woman and helped her to a cab.

I sent Cultural Survival my resume; I'm hoping they will take me on as a spring intern. If not I'm going to try to find Emily at Second Time around, I feel we should probably be friends.

*I know what you're thinking. Didn't your smelliness scare potential patrons away? No, I had a coat on, I'm thinking in the outdoors you couldn't really tell....I hope....

What's the BBC?

Hello loyal readers, I'm back!

First, a note to my regulars:

Sorry I have been gone for so long, my mother was right, I was using myspace instead of "imparting liberal wisdom". Thank you for enjoying my blog enough to bug me to bring it back, makes me feel special.

A note about grad school apps:

I found out they are not due until Jan. 8th. I am currently working on my statement of purpose. But I did a lot of writing at the laundromat last night, and I will be at work for like 4.5 more hours because my downtown engagement does not start until 8 pm and I am too lazy to go home and come back. So, I will do more work then. Claire, I am applying to UCLA, it is the only place I want to go...will you be able to deal with me being so close?

Now, onto the post...I'll restate the title incase you forgot: "What's the BBC?"

The past two Falls have taught me that flag football season is my busy season- it is pretty much the only time of year when I get any action, and I usually get my fill for the rest of the year (the "dry season").

I was just starting to make "A map of my life" part Duex and actually post it on here because unlike last year this one only involves kissing- no sex, and kissing is innocent and can't hurt feelings, right? I thought better, so again, if you want to see it, ask in a comment and I'll send it to ya, err, maybe I'll put a blog e-mail over in that side panel thing, if I can figure that out I'll do it.

So this "season" I made-out with no less than four women. Of those four women, three were actually interested in me, and of the four I was/am actually interested in two. To me this is a lot of people, to the cast of Sex and the City it is probably a small enough number to cause panic, but I am not in my thirties yet (I'm not sure if that actually meant anything).

More general stats about the four women:

• I did more than making out with one of them
• One of them slept in my bed....twice
• I went to three of thier apartments
• I made out with two of them in bathrooms...one of them involved multiple kisses and being locked in a stall
• I went on one full-on date, which involved me answering my door in a towel (maybe I'll explain that later), being driven to the restaurant, and letting her pay for the meal
• Two of them played in the Boston Women's Flag Football League
• Three of them were my age (graduated college in 2004 or at least should have graduated in oh-four, but took an extra year)
• One is turning thirty next saturday
• I communicated with all of them via text message
• So far I have hung out in a datish sort of way four times with three of them

Haha, that last bullet was hard to word, and seriously it is because the lesbian dating scene is really odd, especially when it involves people around my age, I'm twenty-four in case you didn't know. I have been out on actual dates with two women in the past year, one was twenty-six (I think) and one is thirty. So what about the three women around my age? How do you define what I did with them? Well, one of them I just hooked up with, plain and simple...actually, not that simple, I may explain that more fully in a bit. The other two? Well...we "hung out"/ are "hanging out". I'm serious, that is the term everyone throws around. I used this term when trying to describe my love life to Cameron (my ex) and she made fun of me. But really, there is no other way to define it.

Hanging out:

We're not dating because we're not going out on actual dates, not really. We just text each other, and request each other on myspace and send flirty messages and e-mails back and fourth and then every now and then we get a chance to "hang out". Hanging out includes but is not limited to: meeting at a bar to watch a sporting event, meeting at an apartment to watch a sporting event or movie, meeting up at a club, attending a party together, meeting up with friends for a drink, making out in bathrooms and cars.

Rules to keep in mind while hanging out:

It's not really serious, so don't get your hopes up and try not to let her get her hopes up. It is safe to assume that the person you are hanging out with is also hanging out with other people, I mean, hey, you are too, right? Text messaging is a lot like IMing used to be, it's just the way people who are hanging out should communitcate and just because a person text messages you a lot does not mean that she is very interested. If you become uninterested in someone or if someone becomes uninterested in you, all you/ they have to do is sloooow down the texting. You pretty much stop texting them altogether and when they text you, you just send short responses that elicit no return response from them. I'm currently texting and semi-hanging out with girl number four of the season and I think I have figured out the game now. You just have to stay mellow, not too interested but not uninterested, just somewhere in-between, go with the flow.

The hard part of it all is what comes after one of you realizes that you're not really interested. Along the way with all of this "hanging out" you have probably gotten to really like them (whether or not that's in a romantic way) and thier friends. How do you get to a place where you can establish that it is cool that you're not "hanging out" anymore, but that you'd still like to be in thier life, as a friend, because you enjoy spending time with them and thier friends? It must be possible to do that without actually saying it and thus making things awkward. I'm still trying to figure this out with pretty much all of the girls, except for the one I actually hooked up with, I think she may be avoiding me altogether, which I have decided is another story for another day.

So what does the title have to do with anything? What's that you say? You've been reading for a long time now and still don't see what any of this has to do with the BBC? It's a story, a related story. It goes a little something like this:

Text from Girl Number Three: Hey, what are you up to tonight?

Response from Me: Not sure, I've been invited to do a couple of things, I'm still trying to decide which I'm going to. What are you up to? (note that the responder is making an effort to show that she is unavailable for "hanging out" this evening and is making no effort to include the texter in her evening plans)

TG#3: It's my mom's birthday so I am spending time with her, then I think I just want to relax and stay in and watch a movie.

RM: Cool. Oh hey, I found another good lesbian movie, Tipping the Velvet, well it's actually a BBC miniseries but it is rentable, you should check it out. (note again that the responder has not accepted the bait offered by the texter and has made no indication that she may like to ditch her plans in order to join the texter in these new plans)

TG#3: Do you want to watch a movie with me? (Responder's jaw drops when recieving this message. How could she have not picked up on the very well put hints that I would NOT be interested in joining her tonight?)

RM: (I did not have time to respond before the next text came through)

TG#3: What's BBC? (This text plays over and over in the responder's mind. Each time she utters the phrase with more and more wonder and amazement at the question...she fully realizes this makes her a snob)

RM: No, sorry, I already have too many plans tonight. British Broadcasting Coorporation. (note that the responder was careful not to add in, but I'm available....or we should do it some other time....or even maybe some other time.)

TG#3: Ok. (at this point the responder's notes that the texter made no mention of having already known what BBC meant).

.End scene.

My friends and I discussed this, and it was decided there are just some lines, some things, that you  cannot accept unless you are very interested and invested. Not having any knowledge what-so-ever of the BBC, that is just one of my lines. So now it is a catch phrase to be added to "making copies" (making out), and "the drain is clogged" (that guy (person) is hot). Here is how is works:

"Eh, I don't know if it's gonna work out. 'She asked what the BBC was.'" (of course the listener will know that she didn't actually ask what the BBC was but that she revield that she is unaware of or uninterested in something that is vitally important to you, or that you simply expect someone who you would be interested in to be knowledgable of).

It works the other way too, this is an actual quote (I haven't gotten a chance to use it in the above way yet, but you better believe I will as soon as I get a chance):

"Yeah, I'm not sure what happened. We hung out the other night, I thought it was fine, nothing wonderful, but not bad either. But, she has slowed down a lot on the texting and e-mailing. I think 'I must have asked what the BBC was'. I don't know when or how I asked it, but I must have."

That was a really long post! Am I forgiven?

If anyone at work didn't realize I was gay they sure do now!

Cracked out and sad that less than 11 hours later I am back at work I put in my headphones and turned on some of the fine slam poetry of Kit Yan. First poem up- Straight Girls. It wasn't quite loud enough for me so I turned it up all the way. After about 3 minutes I realized that the reason it hadn't been loud enough for me was that the sound was not coming through my headphones. Yes, oh yes, I had plugged to headphones into the mic hole and had blasted Kit's anger over being jerked around by straight girls for all of the office to hear!

I am a genius!

I'm never leaving my cubicle again.

Here are the words that were blasted for all to hear in case you are interested:


Straight girls,
Like to date girls.
And then they go back,
To their boyfriends,
Who don't want them,
And then they go back.

Straight girls,
Like to make girls think they'll love them until the end.
And then they've got the nerve to say, "What? we're just friends."
And I hate that.

I hate girls.
I sound like a second grader.
But there's no better way to truly convey what I feel.
I hate girls.

I hate them because they lie.
And you know those shits that say, "boys lie."
Yeah well,
A better shirt would say, "boys lie, but girls lie to your fucking face and lead you on in an unexplainable way, and then leave you there with so many questions, you wonder if you're still gay!"

Okay, I got carried away.
But it's true.
Girls will fuck with you.
Feed you compliments,
Wear unforgettable scents,
Have deep, meaningful, and intense conversations with you,
Until the cows go home with them on their backs.

Ugh.
I fucking hate girls.
Because they do nice things.
Little things meaningful things.
And if I were a guy, I might not notice at all.
But there's the fucking problem.
I'm a girl.
But I hate girls,
Because I understand the bullshit they file away.
To feed the different girls, that they pretend to date.

"We need to hang out."
But we won't.
"Wow, I had a great time, I'll call you okay?"
And she won't.
"We need to talk."
And that's never good.
"Hey, we'll still be friends."
And we never should,
Have started this fucking piece of shit motherfucking crap to begin with.

No, I haven't lost my mind, just my vocab.
What? You think I chose this path?
My fucking life is like Attack of the Killer Lesbians,
Filled with some of the greatest actresses.
Or some nights it's like meet "Miss Right" on the Woman show.

Behind door number one:
The ever so beautiful experimental bi-curious straight girl, with a long term boyfriend and it was HER who asked YOU out.
Behind door number two:
The elusive bisexual girl, who at first glance, you thought you had no chance, but she hit on you while standing next to the guy she just made out with.
And behind door number three:
Your standard issue L-U-G. Lesbian Until Graduation, my favorite conveniently located at your nearest all-girls college.
Smith, Simmons, Wellesley, wherever.

But oh wait, there's more.
Who's the lovely lady behind door number four?
Ah, your regular old lesbian,
Fully equipped with all the tricks of the trade,
Now this is what a lesbianÂ’s made of.
Doesn't care,
Doesn't call,
Wants everything from you,
Yet nothing at all.

So go ahead, take your pick, but I'm fucking done.
You girls can play your game because you've already won.
And for the record, please don't call.

Some things that are on my mind

• Grants are stressful especially when you are only given a month
• I am sleepy, I am always sleepy. I think my mom is right, I think my reaction to stress is to fall asleep
• I just dropped my red G2 into the toilet at work- that sucks
• I need to finally decide that being single is best and stop letting my head get filled with girls
• I wish Lucy Diamond would take me away to her secret lair (I just bought D.E.B.S)
• I need to be better about e-mailing people- especially returning e-mails
• I need a new job- I need to be working in education
• I need to work on getting a new job and studying for and getting into grad school
• I can't work during the summer
• My hand is sore from falling on it
• When Claudia gets back from being away tonight I'm gonna have to stop walking around naked in the apartment
• I want to see the girls I think are cute
• 8 months is too long to go without sex
• Again, I need to stop thinking about girls

This post became too personal, but lets be honest it will be awhile before I post again so oh well.

My grandpa has an internet girlfriend and my grandma (lita) has a great sex life!

In a previous post I wrote a blurb about the fact that my grandpa (my father's dad) has a girlfriend. Back in April my mother informed me of this, saying that my grandfather unexpectedly announced his relationship during dinner one night. This rocked my world- my grandmother had only been dead for a little over 6 months, and I just had a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea of my grandpa "dating". Apparently, this woman is the ex-wife of a friend of his and somehow they got back in contact with each other and decided that they didn't want to spend the last years of their lives alone.

This idea was still kind of hard for me to swallow, but I was accepting it, and then a couple of weeks ago my mom dropped another bomb. We were chatting about various topics, as we frequently do, and she mentioned that my grandpa's girlfriend was talking very seriously about moving in with him. I found this unsettling, but didn't even have time to react before my mom said, "We are trying to convince him that it's not a good idea since he hasn't seen her in 40 years." WAIT A MINUET....rewind.....WhAt??? Did she just say that? Confused and befuddled, I asked her what she meant. She went on to explain that the last time my grandfather had seen this woman was when she married a good friend of his 40 years ago. Somehow they re-established contact through the internet and had been communicating on-line and began to consider themselves a couple.

After my mom finished explaining I asked her why she had not told me this when she first told me about the girlfriend. She tried to convince me that she had, but we all know that's not true- a person could never forget being told that their 80-something grandfather had an internet girlfriend. In any case, my grandfather's internet girlfriend has been talking about selling her house and moving in with my grandpa. The family is trying to convince him that it is not a good idea. And you thought that girl who flew to Jordan to be with her myspace boyfriend was crazy....

...okay well maybe that's worse. But still!

On to more grandparent craziness. As you may or may not know, my Lita (my mother's mom) is currently undergoing therapy to reduce the amount of cancerous cells that have been found in her blood stream. She has already lived through her first bought of cancer- cervical, and is currently taking a new drug for survivors of cervical cancer whose cancer has returned. This new drug is currently in its testing phase and so my Lita is interviewed about her reactions to the medication during each of her medical visits.

I know this sounds depressing and morbid, but I promise it gets funny.

Not too long ago, at one of her appointments she was asked by the doctor, in front of my mother, how her sex life is. She responded by saying, "It's great." Now, let me explain something about my Lita, she lives at our home, where she has lived since I was 10, and before that she jumped around between relatives living with them. She was never officially divorced, but my grandfather left her before my mom had finished high school. Knowing this, my mother and the doctor sat there speechless, looking at her, not knowing how to react. She broke the uncomfortable silence by laughing and saying, "It's all in my head- it's great!" The next time she came in for an appointment and the same doctor smiled and asked about her sex life, she just smiled and responded, "You know."

So there ya have it, my grandpa actually has an internet girlfriend and my grandma has a great sex life in her mind.

Drinks after work = Hiding under table?

So, now that this has been alluded to in a blog comment, I suppose I need to keep up my promise to tell this gem of a tale on my blog.

Last Thursday, I was trying to round up a group of friends to be pretend to be socially minded by paying the Jimmy Fund $7 to get ice cream belly aches at the Scooper Bowl. But, due to the unseasonably cold and rainy weather we decided to go out for drinks instead.

My friend Mike met Claudia and me outside of our work and we all walked over to the Beantown Pub. Now, I've been working a 9 to 5 for a while now, so clearly going out for drinks after work is not new fare for me. Claud and I have gone for drinks, Mike and I have gone for drinks, heck, Mike and I had even gone out to Beantown Pub before.

But there was one key difference between those outings and this one. At those outings, dinner had clearly been written into the plans from the get go- the drinks may have been ordered first, but that is only due to the length of time it takes to deliberate between a ruben and a hamburger. This time, there was no mention of food, and since food was never mentioned I merely rationalized out that we were only planning on having a couple of beers and then we would head home and cook an economical non-pub dinner. I later found out that Claudia rationalized out the same plan.

The night started out with a bang. There was talk of recent events: Mike would have been fine with Condi Rice speaking at BC at any time other than commencement; there were jokes about who owned which beautiful sports car that was parked outside; and once Gary arrived there was even talk of match making: Claud has a friend- maybe Gary's interested?

Then the first beer came and went. Claud finished before me and tried to put up a protest that with no food a second beer was not a good idea- she was quickly convinced otherwise. When I finished my beer I knew, and desired, better than to put up a fight.

Then the second beer was finished. Now, if you return to the original thought out plans- two beers was the limit and then home for dinner. But once that second beer had been consumed with no food in our bellies, Claudia and I forgot all about our plans. A third beer was ordered and then a fourth.

Nine pm rolls around and suddenly the conversation turned to relationships. Melanie (who to make matter worse was about to start her period) let the emotional flood gates open. While Gary and Claudia were involved in their own conversation (and busily drinking my fifth beer as to keep me from drinking it), I was talking to Mike about my past failed relationships and current single status. Unfortunately, I was also unable to stop crying and crying and crying.

With the night turned sour Mike decided it was time to head home. But by this time I decided I was unable to function and that the best option in sight was to sit underneath the table! Mike, sober enough to realize this was not the best option, helped me out from under the table and out of the pub. At this point I made the transition from overly emotional Melanie to paranoid Melanie (for those of you who were around during the summer I graduated from high school you remember both of these Melanie's very well). I suddenly decided that Mike was making fun of me, which he clearly had a right to, but I was not going to be made fun of, so I told him not to touch me and I ran away. (This is a move that I pulled frequently in that fateful summer of 2000, but I have no recollection of it happening since then). As I ran I could hear Mike in hot pursuit of me- I could not allow him to catch me, so I ran faster and faster and faster. And as I ran I had the logical thought that if I were ever to be attacked while drunk I would clearly be okay because I have an amazing capacity to sprint while heavily intoxicated.

I ran myself right into the T station and right onto a train. After riding for a couple of stops I actually processed what the speaker was saying: "Haymarket". You guessed it folks- I had already gone two stops in the wrong direction. So I got off and somehow managed to get on the train going the right way- this is when the moaning started. Yes, I was that drunk alone person moaning on the train. So, after a couple of stops I realized that people on the train were staring and laughing at me (and we all know I wasn't in the mood for being made fun of). Then another logical thought hit me- "they must think I'm homeless- why else would I be drunk and on the T by myself?" So, to keep myself from being further made fun of, and to dispel any rumors that I was homeless, I got off the T and promptly threw up in the station.

That's when I actually made a good decision. I left the station and I called one of the people who has been there for me in other crisis situations: Bekka. I slurred a story about losing Claudia and not having keys and asked if I could walk (their apartment was very close) to thier place and sleep there.  Bekka and Allison welcomed me with open arms, and from what I was told the next morning, I entertained them for about half an hour with my stories of being homeless, my desire to have a serious conversation about Condi Rice, my unusually dry humor and my endless struggle to get the sheets covering me (it apparently involved a lot of flopping and frustrated grunts).

Moral of the story: never assume you can start drinking with no intention of ordering food! There are other morals here but I don't feel like writing them out...

Me and Mike on the crazy night in question. You bet your butt drunk pictures were taken and some how I made it through the night with out losing my camera.

First dates are so gay...

****I started writing this entry on Monday...oops, took a while to finish it!***

Due to Claire's extreme enthusiasm and the lack of more than one vote/ title and the fact that this topic is filling my brain to capacity right now- it wins.

Sooo, if you know me, you know that I refrain from using "gay" as an insult or a term reflecting negativity. You may wonder then why I chose this title and what it refers to. Well, I'll tell you. I am gay, and I just went on a first date. And first dates are very much not gay. What I mean is that the last actual first date I went on was in 2003 with Jess.

This is Jess, she will probably hate that I put this picture of her up here, but it is the only digital picture I have from when we were dating. Jess and I dated for 4 months, and I pretty much lived with her and her two cats the whole time (despite the fact that I am allergic- sometimes I'm crazy!)

Anyway, our "first date" went something like this: We met at a party and we were both interested in each other, at the end of the night Jess asked me for my AIM screen name. Then the next day she IMed me and asked if I wanted to go play pool with her in the Student Center. Not what you would think of as a typical first date, more like two people who might be interested in each other "hanging out". So for my most recent typical first date we have to go allll the way back to the fall of 2001 and a girl named Kirkley.

This is Kirkley.

Now, to be fair, this is Kirkley on her way to Drag Ball senior year (yes, Drag Ball- I went to a women's college, what do you expect?). Kirkley is actually the most "feminine" woman I have ever dated (meaning that we went out on dates, err, a date), and has since gone back to the dark side of dating men. I just enjoy this picture.

Anyway, Kirkley was my first girl crush, and everyone knew that we were interested in each other and everyone was talking about it except for us. So one day she came up to me after class and said, "Everyone is talking about us. We should go to coffee and talk to each other." I of course eeked out a nervous "yes" and was very excited about my date. What I didn't realize was just how much of a date it was.

On my way to meet her my friend Suzy informed me that she had borrowed a cashmere sweater and an expensive sports car from her friend, and that rather than getting coffee as originally planned we were now going out to dinner (or desert or something- I think it was after dinner, but still!).

Kirkley and I had a weird relationship after that 1st date, but the date was one of my best ever. We talked so much that the waitress had to come by multiple times to ask us for our orders and then she left a massive tip which I thought was very cute. At the end of the night she walked me to my dorm and gave me a hug, then I bolted upstairs to gush to my friend Minelly.

So, the point of this quaint trip down memory lane was to highlight that it has been almost 5 years since I have been on a typical first date, and that even then I didn't know it was a first date until like 5 minutes before it started- thus there was no time to stress. In those 5 years I have dated 4 women and with the exception of Jess none of those relationships started with a first date.

Meet Vicky:

(Not her usual dress, she bet against the Steelers and lost)

Vicky and I met a couple of weeks ago and she promptly asked me out. Thus beginning my first date pondering and stress. After she asked me out she was diagnosed with two inner ear infections- so on Monday we went to lunch together. It really wasn't very datey since we both had to get back to work and she was sick.

So, a couple of days ago I e-mail asked her to a movie tonight. As I type she is on her way to pick me up at work and we are going to go see Failure to Launch. So here are my questions (which clearly no one is going to answer in time since she will be here in minutes- but oh well):

• Should there be a kiss and how will it be initiated?
• Should I invite her "up" and how do I do that and does that imply that I want to have sex
• I have more questions but my mind is too muddled to think of them....
  
  Okay...now I have to spell check and then I'm off....wish me luck :)

Choose a band / artist and answer ONLY in the titles of their songs: Jackson Browne

1. Are you male or female:

Our Lady of the Well

2. Describe Yourself:

I’m the Cat

3. How do some people feel about you:

Late for the Sky

4. How do you feel about yourself:

A Child in these Hills

5. Describe your ex boyfriend / girlfriend:

The Pretender

6. Describe current boyfriend / girlfriend:

Of Missing Persons

7. Describe where you want to be:

World in Motion

10. Describe what you want to be:

The Fuse

11. Describe how you live:

Sing My Songs to Me

12. Describe how you love:

Running on Empty

13. What would you ask for if you had just one wish:

That Girl Could Sing

14. Share a few words of wisdom:

Anything Can Happen

15. Now say goodbye:My Opening Farewell

Survey Says....

My friend Claire answered a survey on her blog and then "tagged" me to answer it too. I like surveys and I like goofing off....thus, here we go.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Hmmm... let's see. Ten years ago I was 13, it was second trimester (yup, had trimesters in Jr. high) of eighth grade. I was in the process of growing 7 inches and gaining 20 pounds (that's a little less than 3 lbs per inch...so consequently I was extremely skinny and due to my long limbs I resembled a spider). I was trying to figure out how to tell my mother that I had gotten my period a year earlier and hadn't gotten it since. I didn't tell her when I first got my period because she had told everyone about my first boyfriend and they all embarrassed me, I could only imagine what was going to happen when I told her I was menstruating. I was also growing out my hair, I had cut it into a pixie cut- ala Julia Roberts in "Hook", and it was not a pretty process. The original hair cut had prompted the nickname "Tink", which I liked, but somehow by this point it had morphed into "Captain Winkey" and some people just outright called me Richard. It was bad at the time, but super funny now... maybe I'll find a picture and scan it to put it up here.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Living on the third floor of a charter high school in Boston, five doors down from my cheating girlfriend. Life was so hectic, I hardly slept and was constantly running around, forgetting to eat, and I cried 15-20 lbs of college and some high school weight away. When was that huge Noreaster? It was either this week or last week last year, and we had the whole week off, but somehow that still didn't help me to catch-up or stabilize. You wanna know the craziest thing of all? I miss it sooooo much!

Five snacks I enjoy:
1. Pork rinds with lime and salt (It's a Mexican thing, I don't expect you to understand)

2. Lemon-Lime Lucas- It is essentially lemon-lime flavored salt "candy". I used to get it from the ice cream man daily. My nose would sweat from all the sodium. My mom made me stop because she feared for my kidneys and would tell me horror stories about living on dialysis. I still have cravings for it. (another Mexican thing, again, don't expect you to understand).

3. "Crack". Last year a teacher at MATCH made "crack" for the tutors. It was some sort of chexmix with sugar...ugh, I can't explain it, but it was heavenly!

4. Salted Almonds- a must for any poor person- so much healthy goodness in each nut (I know the salted part is unhealthy- leave me alone mom!)

5. Anything that combines chocolate, peanut butter and salt- like peanut butter filled, chocolate covered pretzels. I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but that is my soft-spot.

Five songs to which I know all the lyrics
Back in 2001 I was thinking of transferring and my uncle was pressuring me to apply to Harvard. One day at dinner I was complaining to my friends that it would just be a waste of money because all Harvard students had at least one thing that they were exceptional at, and I was mediocre at best at everything I did. Claire responded by telling me that she had never met someone who knew soooo many song lyrics and that I should tell Harvard that.

Here are the top five:
1. Almost every Jackson Browne song. Favorites: These Days, The Pretender and For a Dancer (which will play at my mother's funeral per her request)

2. I Like Big Butts- Sir Mix A Lot. I have a great "music video" of this, if you haven't seen it, ask next time you see me ;).

3. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun- Cyndi Lauper. I went as Cyndi for Halloween last year, I will upload that pic when I get a chance.

4. Dreams- Cranberries (I know all the words to a lot of their songs- gotta love Dolores!)

5. Only the Good Die Young- Billy Joel. This is my theme song- just ask Neda, she'll tell you.

...this is ridiculous, I know all the words to at least 30 songs, probably a lot more, I like lyrics, I like to know all the lyrics to the songs I like. Other songs that came to mind during this: Since U Been Gone, Kelly Clarkson (since they always play it at the lesbo clubs); Somebody Told Me, The Killers; Humps, Black Eyed Peas; Piano Man (and many others), Billy Joel; Tiny Dancer (thank you Almost Famous), Elton John, Space Oddity, David Bowie....tons of cat Stevens, the go-gos, ugh....to many songs!

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire
1. Start a Trust Fund to be used for improving Urban education

2. Pay off my student loans so I can do the work I want without having to worry about salary!

3. Tell Shabori to work her butt off in high school and then apply to and attend any college she wants, on my bill.

4. Buy a modest but cute apartment, decorate it, paint it, and buy a puppy to live with me in it.

5. (Warning this is really crunchy) Work on buying more organic and toxin free products.

Five bad habits
1. Wasting work time on personal business

2. Falling for women who are emotionally unavailable

3. Talking too loudly (I get easily excited)

4. Forgetting to e-mail people back for extended periods of time

5. Loosing things- keys, cell phones, scarves, gloves, etc etc

Five things I like doing
1. Listening to music- my little man recently got me an ipod, thanks scott!

2. Reading, not having a book that I am really into affects my mood badly.

3. Watching movies and TV, now that I have free time and netflix this is all I ever really do

4. Playing team sports- softball, dodgeball, and football are my favorites

5. Cuddling, but the cuddler has to also be the cuddling sort or it doesn't have the same affect!

....hmmmm, that felt a little like an online dating question.

Five things I would never wear, buy or get new again
I don't like this question. Never is too strong of a word... I am a pretty random person, there's not much I can't see myself not getting- a gun? but I never bought one in the first place. A tube-top?- but I can't be sure of that. A crimper? but I like 80's nights. Therefore, I reject the question!

Five favorite toys
1. My ipod shuffle

2. My Darth Vader with Anakin inside

3. My video camera- even though its not actually mine and people get embarrassed when I use it.

4. My skis- even though I don't have enough moola to use them often.

5. I wish I had a sex toy to put on here- but alas! My box of pictures and mementos

Now I'm supposed to pass it on and tag five more people. My picks are D.B. Echo, since he has a blog, Linds, Lei, Pia, and Bekka.

I just went to a meeting where we discussed one of our programs and how we need to "sell it" as cost effective in order for it not to get wiped out. I will be doing research on similar programs to find evidence on their cost effectiveness (thus proving we too are cost effective).

This all seems very adult and professional doesn't it?

I spent the entire meeting with a pair of underwear stuffed in my pants pocket...

...I am the most professional person ever!

I had a few different interesting/ funny things I was thinking about posting today...BUT I just got lost, in my building on my floor (work)... it went something like this:

karin (my supervisor) sent me on an errand

"go to the third floor and deliver this to terry andersen" (I work on the fourth floor)

so i took the elevator down

as i was waiting for the elevator to go back up i felt foolish, "I'll just walk up to the 4th floor", i thought

so i followed the exit signs to the stairs

I emerged from the stairwell to an office i did not recognize...i stood there dazed...i got a little dizzy...

"what in the world....I am sure I was on the third floor and I went up one flight"

I walked in circles for a few seconds and almost ran into someone

then i started feeling dumb....I can't ask someone for directions, I am in my building, on my floor!

So i decided to just start walking like a knew where I was going....it took a while...few turns and such, before I could finally recognize my surrounds....

I had gone up the stairs on the opposite side of the building, and I had never been over there before....I've been working here for a month!

Man! and I call my mom "directionally challenged"!

It's time to play "Find the Lesbian"

Contestant #1 Contestant #2

Information about Contestant #1: On any given Friday night you can find her wearing cargo pants and a flannel shirt.

Information about Contestant #2: On any given Friday night you can find her wearing a tight shirt and tight jeans.

Which one is a homo?....cast your votes!

Revealing factor about Contestant #1: She can be found cuddling and kissing her bearded boyfriend whilst wearing said outfit.

Revealing factor about Contestant #2: She can be found at a gay club, dancing and making out with women whilst wearing said outfit.

************************************************************************************

On Sunday night my roommate had a boy over, she had informed him that one of her roommates was gay.

On Sunday night I (contestant #2) had a girl over (a very cute one).

We (and contestant #1...the other roommate) all sat together watching football. Anastasia (the girl) and I sat on a single seating recliner, together. We were cuddly and holding hands and such. Anastasia has a faux hawk (a haircut recognized by many as decidedly gay). Anastasia made a comment about picking up chicks on her scooter (thus confirming her gay status). We both left and headed up stairs to go to bed...

The next morning my roommate informed me that her boy (Rex) said, "So, Emily (Contestant #1) is the gay one, right?" When she informed him that in fact, it was the roommate who was cuddling with a lesbian that was gay, he was taken aback and made a comment about how pretty I am.

So, apparently lesbians are not pretty...for one thing, AND I am so decidedly straight looking that even sitting in the lap of and cuddling with a girl who has been established as a lesbian is STILL not enough to make me appear to be gay...

Sometimes stereotypes fail people... They are built on something, but they certainly do NOT hold up for everyone. How much proof do you need before you can let go of your preconceived notions and open up your mind to the fact that everything you have ever been told (by other people that do not know) could possibly not be true all of the time for every person.

....AND, I am stepping down from my soap box....

Chaz Tenenbaum took his lunch at his desk...

Is it weird to sit in your sparsely decorated gray cubicle eating lunch and updating your blog?

It is only my second day here at Insulet and I don't really have any friends or anything- not that it's a big deal since I will only be here 3 or 4 weeks. I think most of the people working here are considerably older than me, the receptionist is around my age and very nice, but I don't want to go up to her desk and ask what she is doing for lunch.

I brought a bag of lunch supplies with me because I didn't have time to make my lunch this morning. Is it weird that I have a shopping bag with a loaf of bread, a safflower mayonnaise jar, mustard jar, package of turkey slices and a package of provolone slices in the office fridge? I have never worked in an office before so I don't know, do people do that? It makes sense to me, but so did putting my produce in the freezer in order to preserve it (just in case you are dense like me, here is a warning: NEVER PUT YOUR FRESH PRODUCE IN THE FREEZER, it doesn't preserve it, it kills it!). Maybe I should change the name of this blog to: "The True Adventures of a SoCalGal Living on Her Own for the First Time". What do you think? Too long? Trying to be funny but not succeeding? Anyway, I digress, what do you think about my office lunch supply? Is it weird? I need help with these things. Either way I am leaving my stash here for the week.

Speaking of things I need to know: I am not blessed with the ability to color coordinate. Is this yet another deficiency that I can blame on my mother, or was I born lacking this ability? Right now I am wearing a light tan/khaki colored shirt, forest green cords, and talc blue shoes with tan/khaki colored stripes. What do you think? Do I match? Maybe I will start planning my outfits the night before, then if color coordination is in question I will snap a digital pic, upload it onto my blog, and ask you, my readers, to tell me if it works.

Last year I lived with the people I worked with (very long story, maybe I will share it here some day). Anyway, whenever I had a color coordination issue I would step outside my room and find one of my fashion consultants: Alia and Lori (I will try to find a picture of them to upload after work- such stylish ladies!). I would ask them if I matched or I would run through my shoe options and ask what would work best. The shoes are usually where things go south for me, I can figure out how to match the top and the bottom, but the shoes, ugh! In the past my solution was to have such a plethora ("would you say I have a plethora of pinatas"...there's a prize for the first person who can name that quote!) of shoes to choose from that it was not a problem, but unfortunately during my move from MHC I lost a box with all of my favorite shoes! Thinking about it still makes me cry at night.

Anyway, it seems I have updated my half hour lunch away. More updates later when the inevitable happens and they run out of things for me to do.

Check out my new counter at the bottom...it gives me all sorts of nifty stats- more on that later!