Monday, July 10, 2006

My grandpa has an internet girlfriend and my grandma (lita) has a great sex life!

In a previous post I wrote a blurb about the fact that my grandpa (my father's dad) has a girlfriend. Back in April my mother informed me of this, saying that my grandfather unexpectedly announced his relationship during dinner one night. This rocked my world- my grandmother had only been dead for a little over 6 months, and I just had a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea of my grandpa "dating". Apparently, this woman is the ex-wife of a friend of his and somehow they got back in contact with each other and decided that they didn't want to spend the last years of their lives alone.

This idea was still kind of hard for me to swallow, but I was accepting it, and then a couple of weeks ago my mom dropped another bomb. We were chatting about various topics, as we frequently do, and she mentioned that my grandpa's girlfriend was talking very seriously about moving in with him. I found this unsettling, but didn't even have time to react before my mom said, "We are trying to convince him that it's not a good idea since he hasn't seen her in 40 years." WAIT A MINUET....rewind.....WhAt??? Did she just say that? Confused and befuddled, I asked her what she meant. She went on to explain that the last time my grandfather had seen this woman was when she married a good friend of his 40 years ago. Somehow they re-established contact through the internet and had been communicating on-line and began to consider themselves a couple.

After my mom finished explaining I asked her why she had not told me this when she first told me about the girlfriend. She tried to convince me that she had, but we all know that's not true- a person could never forget being told that their 80-something grandfather had an internet girlfriend. In any case, my grandfather's internet girlfriend has been talking about selling her house and moving in with my grandpa. The family is trying to convince him that it is not a good idea. And you thought that
girl who flew to Jordan to be with her myspace boyfriend was crazy....

...okay well maybe that's worse. But still!

On to more grandparent craziness. As you may or may not know, my Lita (my mother's mom) is currently undergoing therapy to reduce the amount of cancerous cells that have been found in her blood stream. She has already lived through her first bought of cancer- cervical, and is currently taking a new drug for survivors of cervical cancer whose cancer has returned. This new drug is currently in its testing phase and so my Lita is interviewed about her reactions to the medication during each of her medical visits.

I know this sounds depressing and morbid, but I promise it gets funny.

Not too long ago, at one of her appointments she was asked by the doctor, in front of my mother, how her sex life is. She responded by saying, "It's great." Now, let me explain something about my Lita, she lives at our home, where she has lived since I was 10, and before that she jumped around between relatives living with them. She was never officially divorced, but my grandfather left her before my mom had finished high school. Knowing this, my mother and the doctor sat there speechless, looking at her, not knowing how to react. She broke the uncomfortable silence by laughing and saying, "It's all in my head- it's great!" The next time she came in for an appointment and the same doctor smiled and asked about her sex life, she just smiled and responded, "You know."

So there ya have it, my grandpa actually has an internet girlfriend and my grandma has a great sex life in her mind.


OasisDwlr said...

AMAZING!!! That's all I have to say.

Anonymous said...

I guess Internet Dating must run in the family

melanerd said...

Hey now...I've never internet dated!

She approached me! :p

Bekka said...

wow mel, this is an amazing post. i can't believe i missed these great grandparent stories :)